Mummy? Daddy? look at me.

I wake at 9 but hit snooze and eventually rise at 10.
My knee which has been playing up since Friday is easing a bit but I decide that I won't take part in movement class today in case I agrevate it again.
The morning is spent creating the helmet and moustache for my costume.
There is no way I can be ready with that in time so after chatting with Al about it and her reminding me of a sort of similar problem I had in a previous workshop I decide the best thing to do is to take the hat, moustache belt and a plastic bag full of bits of cloth to class, I have no idea if it will be funny, in my head it kind of is.

Movement, I was late, I had to get the hat right, its bnasically the one piece of costume I have so it had better be good.
I creep in and watch my classmates on the silks, some of them are really good. I'm a bit gutted that my knee isn't working properly, I would limke to see if I've improved at all.
But then I don't think I'll be getting on the silks for at least another week, it would be stupid to do myself a real injury.

Le Jeu
Samuel says
Exercises in dancing
Wink murder to help us to understand what minor does. (He looks for the game)
Then an exercise I had read about but never done. Sock tails in a scene plus major/ minor.
It goes like this: Set up a room set, chairs a table, a sofa, a phone.
2 people each with socks down the back of their trousers, 1 is on stage, the other is off.
The person in major (the one on stage) starts the show " pretending to be actor"
The director has said to him, "your pleasure is fantastic, I want you to start the show" so he does, he shows his pleasure to be in the space to have fun, not be boring to take the stage. (major also has a ball)
When Monsieur professor plays the sound of a doorbell the player in major goes to answer the door. He throws the ball to the other player(minor) who now becomes major (minor, now major has come to borrow a cup of sugar) they speak with a voice to tease their friend. When they start to pedal in the sauerkraut (I believe we roast beef's say swim in the shit) they look at their friend cha-chack! moment of complicity. Throw them the ball. Their friend takes over.
At the same time they also play the sock tail game. If you get your friends sock, you give it back, not a fight for the sock like a previous game from Friday.

Phew
I hope this makes sense
Monsieur Gaulier said "Mark, you could be better in major, at the beginning you were better at the start of the exercise, not excellent but not totally horrible."

When another student playing in major entered with a gun Monsieur professor got her to play the scene and at the same time drop the scene and turn to her daddy in the audience and say something like...
" Daddy,look at me. I'm a terrorist. I'm going to walk 3 steps like a terrorist (she walked 3 steps). Daddy look at me. I'm not really a terrorist. It's just for the fun. ( she would keep pointing the gun at her partnerwhilst turning her head to talk to Daddy)
Daddy I'm going to shooty him now. Pchow Pchow! Her partner dies. Daddy its theatre. We can kill everybody. It's a joke, for the fun."
That's not word perfect, I'm not a stenographer nor can I rite short hand but it was something like this.
And in this little bit lies 1 part of the genius of le jeu.
The child soul of the actor, seeking love on the stage, carving out beauty within the lie of the theatre.
Daddy. Mummy. Look at me I'm on stage and I'm in major. Through the lens of childrens games we access the kingdom of fantasy and imagination. It is a beautiful world and you have to be beautiful to play there.
The actor has to beautiful even when he plays ugly.

During class Philippe got a student, Amy to touch the table without looking at it, to repeat the name frederic, frederic. at the end of clas Dan asked why this was.
Monsieur professor said that it was for effect, to help the audience to dream around the character. We wonder why she does this and these things stay with the audience, he gave the example of a book, literature may tell you howa character moves or stands or walks in the description, but it is our job as actors todo this kind of work. We have to give.
Our beauty is a gift to the audience.
Tomorrow I go in search of beauty.

Clown.

Costume flop.
But it got a laugh, my idea, Monsieur said that it could be a good idea this, the clown whose costume is not ready, but in a later exercise he said again that I mock myself, that I mock my costume and that I don't smile enough.

Righto monsieur.
You are right.

Tomorrow I try not to move so much on stage, come on with the feeling of a bad student, to smile more and not mock myself, rather to be optimistic and shine.

It's funny, when I am at home performing for the cat I am a good clown, light funny, optimistic but in class, non.
At home I can feel the kind of energy needed for the stage, yet it escapes me infront of the spotlights.

I want to find my funny in the spotlights.
I have had it before in front of the public and I want it again and again and again, to understand, with my body where it lives, how I can access it and use it to make a good living for me and my family. And if this smacks of desperation, Oui c'est ca, I am desperate to find it,I know I'm cut out for more than the odd fringe show once or twice a year.


Help me monsieur, help me to find how I am funny, s'il vous plait.